Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Short Story

King 1
Kyle King
Mrs. Belden    
Honors English 1
6 October 2014
Tryouts
King 1
Kyle King
Mrs. Belden    
Honors English 1
6 October 2014
Tryouts
Luke woke up to the sound of constant boops. The clock looked at him with 6:45 am on its face. Luke walked into the bathroom, showered up, brushed his teeth, and then put his clothes on. Today would seem to be a typical day for Luke, or for even anybody. Today marked the day for Goya High School basketball tryouts. The only thing on Luke's mind for the last two months. Luke proceeded down his staircase, and walked into the kitchen to find his mother ready to take him to school. Luke typically did not have enough time to eat breakfast, so he was not surprised when his mother came to hug him and said;
"Good morning dear. Put your shoes on and grab a granola bar, or else we will be late to school."
"Good morning. I love you to," said Luke in a groggy tone. Luke and his mother headed to school, and arrived right on time.
"Good luck at basketball tryouts this afternoon. You'll do great. I will pick you up at about 5:30. Have a great day at school and I love you," said Luke's mother as luke was getting his stuff out if the car.
"Have a great day at work and I'll see you then. Love you," remarked Luke in a cheerful voice as he gave a wave to his mother on his way to the school door.
King 2
But the only problem was, Luke was not in a cheerful mood. He was in a stressful mood. He was in a stressful mood, because many kids doubted him. This was something that his mother didn’t know. Didn’t know that he was “unpopular” and a joke to everybody. She did know that he’s small, but athletic. Luke went through a typical day at school, which was going through all the classes trying to avoid comments toward him from the jocks such as “hey shrimp” or “thanks for volunteering to be our basketball for tryouts.” Luke was starting to get better at ignoring them. Before he knew it, the bell gave a ring four times.
Luke headed to to the locker room. As he was putting on shoes with high tops and a big swoosh on each side, he heard others whispering and laughing in his direction. After all of the negative comments, nobody expected Luke to show up. The coach talked to all of the players who were hoping to make the team, explaining how tryouts were going to work. Luke worked hard all of tryouts, and impressed even the jocks. A couple of people gave him compliments. The coaches noticed him. Luke knew this was a good sign. To end the tryouts, they do scrimmages, to see how the players do in a game situation. 7 seconds left of tryouts, Luke steals the ball from the point guard and dribbles up the court. A lay up ties the scrimmage, shooting from beyond the ark wins it. Two of the best players call for the ball, but Luke ignores them, focusing on the fast break. It looked clear that he was going to go for the layup, but somebody was catching him. Both were going as fast as a cheetah. All eyes on Luke, as he makes a jump stop right before the three-point line. Still people calling his name, he watches the man who was going to catch up to him fly by. Luke takes an open shot, 0.8 seconds said the scoreboard upon his release of the ball. A loud swish filed up the court right after a loud buzz. Luke looked over at the head coach, only
King 3
to see his lips go from ear to ear. Next thing he knew his teammates, were all over him. Even the jocks. It was clear to everybody, there was a new star for the school team.



4 comments:

  1. Hey Kyle K,
    I liked the personification in the first paragraph about the clock. Another thing i liked was the theme of your story. I also liked how creative you were in the things you wrote. One question I have is what made his team think that he was not as good just because he was smaller then everyone else? Another question I have is why is this Luke's first year trying out for the school basketball team? One suggestion I have is to put some more detail in some parts for your story.
    Nat K.

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  2. This was another good story about sports. I really like the imagery and description that you put into the story. My favorite part of the story is when he schools the jocks who doubted him. The beginning of the story somewhat hooked me but not in a way to be eager to keep reading. I liked the ending. That was a perfect spot to cut the story off!

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  3. Kyle,
    I really enjoyed your short story. I also like the message it conveyed. Don't even be discouraged and follow your dreams. I also really liked the relasionship him and his mom seemed to have. If I had to suggest one thing it would be to describe him more than just stating his height. It was a really good story overall, and I enjoyed reading it.
    Leia

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  4. Hi Kyle, I liked how your story showed that even unlikely people could turn out to be good at sports. I also liked how the jocks who used to make fun of him started respecting him for how good he was and I liked the descriptions in the story. Two questions I have are what position did Luke play? And how did Luke prepare for tryouts? One suggestion I have is maybe to add how Luke prepared for tryouts.

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